P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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