We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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