i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
