so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
