Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
