I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
