You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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