So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
