Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
