Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
