So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
