You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Randomize
