I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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