No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
