I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
