I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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