O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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