I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
