im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
