Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
