nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
50% drunk capacity currently
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
