If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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