booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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