Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
