barbara walters just said penis...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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