No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
