I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
