You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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