He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
