I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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