Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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