i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize