But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Ketchup is God's man juice
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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