I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
