This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
