By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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