Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
