I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
