Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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