I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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