I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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