What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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