mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
