im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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