We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
