if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
