is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
