I want to stick my p in your. b.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
That's when you crack a 10am beer
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
