I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
