what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
